I'm going to Istanbul.
I decided six months ago to apply for studying abroad and just got accepted two days ago. I thought i was getting this information on email and have been waiting and waiting for a month now, so I called the International department in my University and she told me that my application had been accepted. I wasn't prepared for that information at all, the reason that i called in the first place, were to find out when i could expect to get answer on my application, but wow there it were... It was odd, because all of a sudden I wasn't happy about it, but were at the same time happy about the answer. I then called my best friend, who started to cry...Hmmm, now i was feeling even worse, and sad as well. I called Samia who were and still is, in totally denial (as always, det er jo en herlig ting at mestre) I called my other friend, who got mad at me and the next who also became sad, but was looking forward to come and visit me. I was overwhelmed with all kinds of feelings just then and there, but the most penetrating feeling was how much i would miss all of these wonderful people, who i'm blessed to have in my life.
And i'm scared... I'm going to a city which has 22 million citizens and i come from Denmark which only populates 6 million people. It's 3000 km away from home and i don't talk the language, well i understand a bit, but i can't communicate in turkish. I can say: Ben türkce bilmiyorum. Which means: I don't talk turkish. :) I believe i'm going to say that a lot.
But
It is indeed a dream which has become true, i've been dreaming about studying abroad since high school and my wish has finally become true. Turkey is a muslim country, there is only 1% none muslims and i'm so exited to live in a country where the head religion is Islam, i will also be there during the Ramadan, which i have heard should be quite an experience. The universities aren't made for religious people, you are not allowed to wear hijab at universities for example (because of Atatürk, whom tried to modernize and secularize Turkey). But since Islam is the head religion, it's still different from Denmark, i'm looking forward to visit some of the worlds largest mosqe's and experience islam as beeing a majority instead of a minority.
Ins'Allah it will bring me closer to my Creator.
I'm going in four months and this post won't be the last i write of it.
I will spend this summer with the ones i love and care about and i will ins'Allah use my time properly.
Jeg ved at mit ophold i udlandet vil få mig til at indse, hvor velsignet jeg er. Jeg ved at jeg er heldig og ekstremt velsignet med min fantastiske familie, biologisk, og med venner som er som familie. Jeg kan aldrig takke Gud nok for de vidunderlige mennesker jeg har i mit liv, min familie, venner og ikke mindst mine fanastiske dejlige veninder. Det gør ondt i mig ved tanken om hvor meget jeg kommer til at savne dem, hvor svært det vil blive at sige farvel og hvor meget jeg vil mangle dem ved min side det halve år jeg er afsted.
De er alt for mig og deres kærlighed og støtte er det mest uundværlige i mit liv. Hver og en af dem har en helt speciel og unik plads i mit hjerte, hvilket er hævet over ethvert tid og rum. Jeg ved at de vil være tæt på mig i tanken og i mit hjerte, men hvor bliver det dog svært!
Jeg håber og beder til at de ved hvor stærk min kærlighed til dem er og at de ALTID, uanset hvor jeg end befinder mig, er en del af mine tanker, hjerte og sjæl - en kæmpe del af mig.
Jeg ville ikke være Mig, uden dem!
fredag den 27. april 2007
onsdag den 18. april 2007
My teacher
Remembe your old high school teachers - some inspired you, other frightend you and some were just "evil" :) Learning was back then something you had to, it was not a choice of your own - well, you could very well come up with a whole lots of other more interesting things to do being a teenager. But then you grow up and accept learning as being a natural part of life and as a blessing, as you learn everyday of your life. You realize that your experinces has a major inpact on how you act and who you are. I have had some bad experinces with some of the teachers i had, but now i see that some of the blame was on me as i look back... Though the greatest experiences with the best teachers i had, have on the other hand also had huge influence on my life and the choices i have made, especially regarding my education.
But now...
I have been blessed with the most amazing teacher ever. This beautiful girl, who didn't even knew me that well - not at first - who met me as a stranger and were willing to teach me and guidance me about and towards the most important thing in my life; Islam.
She was the first to teach me the beautiful words of Shadada and i declared it in her presence. She were the first person to welcome me in Islam - i had only spend a day with her and chose her to be one of my witness' as i converted - that is how amazing she is and the effect she has on people. She opened her arms to me and invited me and my friend to the nearest mosque, to teach us salâh and the arabic alphabet. She is one of the most caring, unselfish and giving persons i have ever met and i am blessed and thank Allah for letting this wonderful person in my life! I am even more grateful for our friendship which i know will develop and grow even stronger.
I live in Denmark, she lives in the UK, but she calls me every week to teach me salâh and arabic over the phone - everyone knows how bad the danish accent is, i really need the help, but it's not that i'm all alone, i have people around me who can are willing to teach me, but not as good as she - she teaches me, so i learn the pronouncements right, she teaches me because she best teacher anyone could have - May Allah reward you for every single letter and sentence you teach me!
My dear sweet friend you know who you are and this post is to show my gratitude! Words can't express how much it means to me and what an impact you had had on my life - i converted in your presence for a reason - Only Allah knows what, because i have thought about this a hundred times and still can't figure it out, why then and there ,when i had the opportunity in Denmark a million times and when people here were asking me every week to set a date to do so. Allah works in mysterious ways - in beautiful ways, it must have been for a reason...
Bismillahir - Rahmanir - Rahim
Allah please grant us with wisdom and help and guide us in our every step of our way, forgive us for every mistake we'll make. I thank You for blessing me with a teacher and a friend and may you bless her for her effort and beautiful heart, may You fill eveyday of her life with happiness and joy and always look after her Ins'Allah.
Amin.
But now...
I have been blessed with the most amazing teacher ever. This beautiful girl, who didn't even knew me that well - not at first - who met me as a stranger and were willing to teach me and guidance me about and towards the most important thing in my life; Islam.
She was the first to teach me the beautiful words of Shadada and i declared it in her presence. She were the first person to welcome me in Islam - i had only spend a day with her and chose her to be one of my witness' as i converted - that is how amazing she is and the effect she has on people. She opened her arms to me and invited me and my friend to the nearest mosque, to teach us salâh and the arabic alphabet. She is one of the most caring, unselfish and giving persons i have ever met and i am blessed and thank Allah for letting this wonderful person in my life! I am even more grateful for our friendship which i know will develop and grow even stronger.
I live in Denmark, she lives in the UK, but she calls me every week to teach me salâh and arabic over the phone - everyone knows how bad the danish accent is, i really need the help, but it's not that i'm all alone, i have people around me who can are willing to teach me, but not as good as she - she teaches me, so i learn the pronouncements right, she teaches me because she best teacher anyone could have - May Allah reward you for every single letter and sentence you teach me!
My dear sweet friend you know who you are and this post is to show my gratitude! Words can't express how much it means to me and what an impact you had had on my life - i converted in your presence for a reason - Only Allah knows what, because i have thought about this a hundred times and still can't figure it out, why then and there ,when i had the opportunity in Denmark a million times and when people here were asking me every week to set a date to do so. Allah works in mysterious ways - in beautiful ways, it must have been for a reason...
Bismillahir - Rahmanir - Rahim
Allah please grant us with wisdom and help and guide us in our every step of our way, forgive us for every mistake we'll make. I thank You for blessing me with a teacher and a friend and may you bless her for her effort and beautiful heart, may You fill eveyday of her life with happiness and joy and always look after her Ins'Allah.
Amin.
torsdag den 12. april 2007
To Love
I will let these words speak for themselves
Why, deep down, do we love? What is the source of love, its meaning, its object? Why do we experience the birth of love one day, and its death another? Why, deep inside us, does our love for our parents and our children endure? How do we love? Why, deep down, do we love?
Life teaches us to learn, to suffer injury, to get to our feet again, to mature. Life is revelation; and when our hearts and our intelligence turn toward His revelation, we can grasp something of the meaning, the mystery, and the meaning of this mystery. There are many ways to love: The Most Caring One offers us love through the very essence of our nature, and invites us to continue our search for the love of our fellow creatures, for Creation, for His love.
There are several ways to love: we can love ourselves out of egocentrism or egotism; out of self-obsession to the point of self-importance and arrogance. How natural a love...and how dangerous. To see the world through ourselves alone: to love ourselves as if we alone existed, and, at the core of this mysterious paradox, to love ourselves to the point of oblivion.
To love our mothers, our fathers, our husbands, our wives, our daughters, our sons and, our senses dulled by habit, learn nothing from our love for them except when accident or absence strike. To become indifferent in the face of familiar presences. Isn’t it a curious paradox? To be blinded by too much seeing. To lose meaning because we are overwhelmed, drowned, carried away by the endless repetition of daily life.
To observe our friends, our fellow human beings, our world, and to ask of our heart: why you? Why should you be loved? For your appearance? For your qualities? For your tastes? To love as we feel, because we so “genuinely” feel. The fire at first, the ashes when all is done... destroyed by betrayal, by flaws, by wounds inflicted. Love that blinds; separation in the glare of hindsight. Another paradox: the glowing coals that are the warmth of our loves, and the infinite burn of our suffering.
To learn to love. Such is the message of all spiritual disciplines. We may love to love ourselves, our neighbours, the universe; we may love to move beyond the self, our own and that of our neighbours; our own and that of the universe. In nearness to the Divine we learn that we must seek, initiate ourselves, tear asunder, give new form, break off and renew. To seek out the meaning of our loves; to initiate ourselves into the secrets of hope and not stop when proof of our qualities lies before us; to break down ego and appearance; to give form to the gazing eyes and all they ask for; to make new the light in the heart and in the eyes and, as when we fast, to learn to break the fast the better to begin again. To be two, with ourselves, with God, with you... a gift, a time of testing, a period of hardship, of hoping.
Near to you or without you. Why do we love? Why do we break apart? Why, indeed? On our journey, we must learn that His love like ours, that our encounters like our separations, are acts of initiation: we can love a parent, a being, his beauty, his qualities; we can love what is and, in the end, know only hurt and suffering. Over and above what exists, we can learn to love the horizon that unites us. To move beyond ourselves for His sake, to seek together the pathway that leads to His light... to love the meaning, the road travelled as much as we love the destination, and our fate. It is constant effort, this jihad of love. To lift up our eyes before us and learn to love, and with that love, find freedom. To move beyond ourselves, to free ourselves from the loves that bind and imprison us: those “ended” loves, sometimes idolatrous, sometimes misleading, and so near to our animal nature. An infinite task, one never to be completed; a task filled with sorrow, with hurt and tears. Here, on this earth, lies one truth: he who truly loves must learn to weep. Life. Love, and life.
Why, deep down, do we love? Some like to bind themselves in chains, others to set themselves free. A mystery. The Unique One calls out to us, summons us, tells us: “Go on! Love! Move forward, seek out, and pursue your quest. The love that will come to you is not at all what you are seeking. It is an illusion, a prison. The love you seek, the love that you must learn, opens wide to you the door of freedom: alone, by twos, by thousands, it teaches you to say: “It is Him I love” and, in the depths of your heart, feel yourself loved. And then, at that moment, we must lift up our eyes before us, nurture the freedom we have found, and bestow all the love we possess upon those close to us, to the universe, to humanity. As we move on beyond this life, or as we remain. Love and true Life.
To love, and learn to leave...
By Tariq Ramadan
Why, deep down, do we love? What is the source of love, its meaning, its object? Why do we experience the birth of love one day, and its death another? Why, deep inside us, does our love for our parents and our children endure? How do we love? Why, deep down, do we love?
Life teaches us to learn, to suffer injury, to get to our feet again, to mature. Life is revelation; and when our hearts and our intelligence turn toward His revelation, we can grasp something of the meaning, the mystery, and the meaning of this mystery. There are many ways to love: The Most Caring One offers us love through the very essence of our nature, and invites us to continue our search for the love of our fellow creatures, for Creation, for His love.
There are several ways to love: we can love ourselves out of egocentrism or egotism; out of self-obsession to the point of self-importance and arrogance. How natural a love...and how dangerous. To see the world through ourselves alone: to love ourselves as if we alone existed, and, at the core of this mysterious paradox, to love ourselves to the point of oblivion.
To love our mothers, our fathers, our husbands, our wives, our daughters, our sons and, our senses dulled by habit, learn nothing from our love for them except when accident or absence strike. To become indifferent in the face of familiar presences. Isn’t it a curious paradox? To be blinded by too much seeing. To lose meaning because we are overwhelmed, drowned, carried away by the endless repetition of daily life.
To observe our friends, our fellow human beings, our world, and to ask of our heart: why you? Why should you be loved? For your appearance? For your qualities? For your tastes? To love as we feel, because we so “genuinely” feel. The fire at first, the ashes when all is done... destroyed by betrayal, by flaws, by wounds inflicted. Love that blinds; separation in the glare of hindsight. Another paradox: the glowing coals that are the warmth of our loves, and the infinite burn of our suffering.
To learn to love. Such is the message of all spiritual disciplines. We may love to love ourselves, our neighbours, the universe; we may love to move beyond the self, our own and that of our neighbours; our own and that of the universe. In nearness to the Divine we learn that we must seek, initiate ourselves, tear asunder, give new form, break off and renew. To seek out the meaning of our loves; to initiate ourselves into the secrets of hope and not stop when proof of our qualities lies before us; to break down ego and appearance; to give form to the gazing eyes and all they ask for; to make new the light in the heart and in the eyes and, as when we fast, to learn to break the fast the better to begin again. To be two, with ourselves, with God, with you... a gift, a time of testing, a period of hardship, of hoping.
Near to you or without you. Why do we love? Why do we break apart? Why, indeed? On our journey, we must learn that His love like ours, that our encounters like our separations, are acts of initiation: we can love a parent, a being, his beauty, his qualities; we can love what is and, in the end, know only hurt and suffering. Over and above what exists, we can learn to love the horizon that unites us. To move beyond ourselves for His sake, to seek together the pathway that leads to His light... to love the meaning, the road travelled as much as we love the destination, and our fate. It is constant effort, this jihad of love. To lift up our eyes before us and learn to love, and with that love, find freedom. To move beyond ourselves, to free ourselves from the loves that bind and imprison us: those “ended” loves, sometimes idolatrous, sometimes misleading, and so near to our animal nature. An infinite task, one never to be completed; a task filled with sorrow, with hurt and tears. Here, on this earth, lies one truth: he who truly loves must learn to weep. Life. Love, and life.
Why, deep down, do we love? Some like to bind themselves in chains, others to set themselves free. A mystery. The Unique One calls out to us, summons us, tells us: “Go on! Love! Move forward, seek out, and pursue your quest. The love that will come to you is not at all what you are seeking. It is an illusion, a prison. The love you seek, the love that you must learn, opens wide to you the door of freedom: alone, by twos, by thousands, it teaches you to say: “It is Him I love” and, in the depths of your heart, feel yourself loved. And then, at that moment, we must lift up our eyes before us, nurture the freedom we have found, and bestow all the love we possess upon those close to us, to the universe, to humanity. As we move on beyond this life, or as we remain. Love and true Life.
To love, and learn to leave...
By Tariq Ramadan
onsdag den 4. april 2007
Unfolding a rose
A young, new ustadh (teacher) was walking with an older, more seasoned ustadh (teacher) in the garden one day. Feeling a bit insecure about what Allah had for him to do, he was asking the older ustadh for some advice. The older ustadh walked up to a rosebush and handed the young ustadh a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing off any petals. The young ustadh looked in disbelief at the older ustadh and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the will of Allah for his life and ministry.But because of his great respect for the older ustadh, he proceeded to try to unfold the rose, while keeping every petal intact... It wasn't long before he realized how impossible this was to do. Noticing the younger ustadh's inability to unfold the rosebud without tearing it, the older ustadh began to recite the following poem...
It is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of Allah's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.
The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
ALLAH(swt) opens this flower so sweetly,
Then in my hands they die.
If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of Allah's (swt) design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?
So I'll trust in Allah(swt) for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to Allah(swt) for His guidance
Each step of the way.
The pathway that lies before me,
Only Allah(swt) knows.
I'll trust Him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.
(unknown)
It is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of Allah's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.
The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
ALLAH(swt) opens this flower so sweetly,
Then in my hands they die.
If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of Allah's (swt) design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?
So I'll trust in Allah(swt) for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to Allah(swt) for His guidance
Each step of the way.
The pathway that lies before me,
Only Allah(swt) knows.
I'll trust Him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.
(unknown)
You know
About a year before i converted i read this poem by Tariq Ramadan, which made me cry - my inner feelings had been put into words and by a complete stranger... It described the proces towards finding my way home, to find the Truth. Alhamdu lillah - i'm home, and now; I know...
One morning, something can change, something has changed... You turn your face, your eyes, your heart and your hopes towards another Reality. One instant, one second, far from human beings, from their doubts, from their wounds. And the Universe speaks to you of the heart of its evidences:
«Verily, in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the succession of night and day there are indeed signs for people of insight »
You know...
And you come back to yourself... to the heart of your inner universe. It is never easy... this quest for meaning, for simplicity. To forget your doubts, your weaknesses, your wounds, your tears, your failures... and to find in yourself the authentic question, your secrete sincerity, your fragility. Alone, in a silence that belongs only to you, simply, softly, tenderly. To find yourself again... in the sacred place that He alone knows, and you.
« We shall show them our signs in the horizons and in themselves so that it will become clear to them that this is the Truth”
You know...
A quest for meaning, a quest for simplicity, a quest for love, a quest for truth. A search. One morning something has changed. You, your gaze, your life. A paradox. To learn to love and to resist yourself... within the same outburst, with the same strength. To love the light of the heart’s humility, at the centre, and to resist the shadows of the mind’s arrogance, at the periphery. To resist the prisons of self-importance and blindness of the heart and to love the liberations of the mind seeking light and peace.
« Do the people think that they will be left alone for they have said ‘We believe’ and that they would not be tested?”
You know ...
The test of the inner peace... an infinite quest of His signs, of Good, of Beauty, of Love. To know He is here and that one has but to unceasingly go towards Him. And everything changes: the universe, human beings, your life... “To change the life” said the poet... and the life has changed as you change in the proximity of the essential. You seek, you observe, you cry. To speak to Him of your tears close to the Truth. He knows, you know...
Your tears are your love; your tears are your freedom
« And God invites you to the dwelling of Peace... »
You know...
Deep in your self there exists a dwelling of a language without words. The sadness of the world has offered you the smile of the essential...Freedom and Peace. A prayer with no request.
You know...
By Tariq Ramadan
One morning, something can change, something has changed... You turn your face, your eyes, your heart and your hopes towards another Reality. One instant, one second, far from human beings, from their doubts, from their wounds. And the Universe speaks to you of the heart of its evidences:
«Verily, in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the succession of night and day there are indeed signs for people of insight »
You know...
And you come back to yourself... to the heart of your inner universe. It is never easy... this quest for meaning, for simplicity. To forget your doubts, your weaknesses, your wounds, your tears, your failures... and to find in yourself the authentic question, your secrete sincerity, your fragility. Alone, in a silence that belongs only to you, simply, softly, tenderly. To find yourself again... in the sacred place that He alone knows, and you.
« We shall show them our signs in the horizons and in themselves so that it will become clear to them that this is the Truth”
You know...
A quest for meaning, a quest for simplicity, a quest for love, a quest for truth. A search. One morning something has changed. You, your gaze, your life. A paradox. To learn to love and to resist yourself... within the same outburst, with the same strength. To love the light of the heart’s humility, at the centre, and to resist the shadows of the mind’s arrogance, at the periphery. To resist the prisons of self-importance and blindness of the heart and to love the liberations of the mind seeking light and peace.
« Do the people think that they will be left alone for they have said ‘We believe’ and that they would not be tested?”
You know ...
The test of the inner peace... an infinite quest of His signs, of Good, of Beauty, of Love. To know He is here and that one has but to unceasingly go towards Him. And everything changes: the universe, human beings, your life... “To change the life” said the poet... and the life has changed as you change in the proximity of the essential. You seek, you observe, you cry. To speak to Him of your tears close to the Truth. He knows, you know...
Your tears are your love; your tears are your freedom
« And God invites you to the dwelling of Peace... »
You know...
Deep in your self there exists a dwelling of a language without words. The sadness of the world has offered you the smile of the essential...Freedom and Peace. A prayer with no request.
You know...
By Tariq Ramadan
To my soulmate
Bismillahir - Rahmanir -Rahim
I Guds navn, Den Mest Nådige, Den Mest Barmhjertige
Jeg kan aldrig takke Allah nok for at have velsignet mig med noget af det smukkeste der findes - venskab - vores venskab. Du fylder mit liv med så meget glæde og du kender mit inderste væsen. Du er der altid for mig og nu, mere end nogensinde før, har du brug for en til at bære dig igennem en svær tid - jeg er den der kan og vil bære dig, holde din hånd når du har brug for det, græde med dig når du har brug for det, lytte til dig når du har brug for det, bede med dig når du har brug for det, bede for dig for jeg ved du har brug for det. Mit hjerte føler din sorg, din smerte dit savn og ingen ord kan kurere disse følelser, så mærk min kærlighed, føl min støtte og vid at jeg er her for dig hele vejen igennem.
Jeg elsker dig!
I Guds navn, Den Mest Nådige, Den Mest Barmhjertige
Jeg kan aldrig takke Allah nok for at have velsignet mig med noget af det smukkeste der findes - venskab - vores venskab. Du fylder mit liv med så meget glæde og du kender mit inderste væsen. Du er der altid for mig og nu, mere end nogensinde før, har du brug for en til at bære dig igennem en svær tid - jeg er den der kan og vil bære dig, holde din hånd når du har brug for det, græde med dig når du har brug for det, lytte til dig når du har brug for det, bede med dig når du har brug for det, bede for dig for jeg ved du har brug for det. Mit hjerte føler din sorg, din smerte dit savn og ingen ord kan kurere disse følelser, så mærk min kærlighed, føl min støtte og vid at jeg er her for dig hele vejen igennem.
Jeg elsker dig!
Allahs elskede sendebud (Allahs fred og velsignelser være med ham) sagde, "Renhed er det halve af troen. Al-hamdu lillah fylder vægtene op. SubhanAllah wa al-hamdu lillah fylder, hvad der ellers ikke findes mellem himlene og jorden. Bønnen er lyset, velgørenhed et bevis. Tålmodighed er glansgivende, og al-Qur'an er et bevis for eller imod dig. Ethvert menneske påbegynder sin dag som en handelsmand, hvad angår hans sjæl, enten løskøber han den, eller også forårsager han dens nedbrydning" [Muslim]
Al-hamdu lillah Må Allah være tilfreds med os alle
Abonner på:
Opslag (Atom)